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I have your disease in me

from Pastel​/​/​Anguish by Abandoncy

/
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lyrics

I'm sitting here - a gulf between
the truth and bringing you relief,
as you tell me - another body succumbs to
the cancer in our genes,

just like the booze, just like the nicotine,
it all wears off, runs out, to bleed into
another casket-funeral
render the familiar:
Elegiac trope.

...supine decay...
...fester stoic grace...
...just stay...
...a little more time...
...to convince myself
you've already died.

ruminate on who's to blame
pallbear your fading years
self-deceive carrying this weight

after the sun is laid down,
I lie, inert on the wall
shadow play the sequences,
convince myself of their mirth;

All those sordid and austere,
so called better years,
bleak in their afterglow,
look worse in your dying days,

I alone am to blame,
for estranging me,
and in the face of your death,
I alone, am the one who left

credits

from Pastel​/​/​Anguish, released February 25, 2022

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Abandoncy Kansas City, Missouri

Three big nerds in search of the big riff yonder

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